HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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