if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just pee around me
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Randomize
