Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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