Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize
