Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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