Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
