No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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