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• (503): View more from Oregon

  You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me

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• (408): View more from California

  tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Swish.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.

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• (315): View more from New York

  Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.

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• (424): View more from California

  He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.

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• (607): View more from New York

  we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand

  (1-574): View more from Indiana

  There is no way that actually happened!

  (574): View more from Indiana

  the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml

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• (817): View more from Texas

  And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over

  (817): View more from Texas

  And hydrate too

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