After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
