Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
