why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
