i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
