Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
