the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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