I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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