Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
