dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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