how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
