I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
