she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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