so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
