I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
