I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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