just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
