He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I pour the whiskey from now on
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
