Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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