I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
