You really coming over, don't trick.
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
