Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
