Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
