just come out here and I will go home with you...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
