You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize