i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
