Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
