just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
