going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
