What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
