have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
