I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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