have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
