pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
