I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
