3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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