This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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