i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
