What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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