Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i drank out of a bidet.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
