she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
