Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
