I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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