dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
