Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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