Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
