don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
