Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
