What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
