if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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