so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
