All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
