that's an acceptable place to lick
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
