If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
