I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
