Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
