this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
