I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
